Tidying
by Snowflakes-on-my-eyelashes
Summary: Saving the universe doesn't leave much time for tidying, but one day, Amy forces the Doctor to tidy out the Tardis, and a number of letters are uncovered that the Doctor wishes he could forget. But you can't forget the past when you're a time traveller...
1. Amelia Pond

It was Rory who unearthed it: a small wooden box with ornate clasps. It looked normal enough, but the Doctor's expression was enough to alert Amy's curiosity.

"What's that?" She snatched it from Rory and screwed up her face in disgust when she saw how much dust there was blanketing it. "You really need to tidy more!" she told the Doctor, coughing, as wiped it off.

He said nothing, staring at the box. No incredulous look, no retort about saving the universe being more exciting.

It was too much for Amy, and she opened it, the hinges groaning as she did. It was full of letters, yellowed with age, stacked neatly in a pile. Under normal circumstances, Amy would have shut the box again – you don't read someone else's letters – but the letter on top looked horribly familiar.

She picked it up, amazed, and began to read.

_Dear Raggedy Doctor,_

_I don't know your address so I hope that just putting Doctor, Police Box on the envalope and putting it in the letterbox will be enough. When are you coming back? You said it would only take five minutes but it's been six months. I'm eight now. _

_My Arnt Sharon found me asleep in the garden when she got back and she was so angry, espeshly when she saw the kitchen aswell. I told her all about you but she said you werent real. I shouted at her then and said she was jelous that you came for me, not her. She sent me to my room._

_Has something happened to you – is that why you haven't come back yet?_

_Arnt Sharon took me to a Sykiatrist or something and he said your not real too so I bit him. Only Mels and Rory believe me, although I'm not sure if Rory really does, or just goes along with it because he wants to play with me._

_Please come back soon._

_Love from Amelia Pond_

Amy looked up, shocked.

"How did you find that?"

But the Doctor just smiled maddeningly.

"Oh, well, you know me."

Amy wondered how much more she'd know about him if she knew the content of these letters.

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><p>Just in case you didn't realise, the spelling and gramatical errors are Amelia's, not mine!<p>

I plan to write lots of these letters, so if you have any ideas or feedback, please let me know.


	2. Dear Sarah

The Doctor tried to stop Amy reading the next one, and once she had read it, Amy wished he had succeeded. It was definitely what she would call private.

_Dear Sarah,_

_There are so many things I wish I had the courage to tell you. Like how much I missed you; like how much it hurt letting you go. There were so many times when I almost went to visit you, and only just managed to stop myself. I felt so bad for dumping you, and I even sent you K9 in a way of apology, of letting you know I cared. I only wish I could have given you something more than a metal dog. _

_But as I've told you, I can't ever go back._

_Seeing you again after all that time was amazing. Seeing that you hadn't changed, hadn't stopped. Seeing that you were still fighting for what you always had: the truth. But the look on your face when you saw the tardis again, and when Rose said I never mentioned you... it pierced both my hearts. I wish I could explain why I didn't come back, or don't talk about you, because I don't forget, not ever – not about any of you._

_You told me that you once fell for a man who you travelled with and after him, no one else compared, and I want you to know that he loved you too._

_Only I can't tell you that, not even in a letter. I don't have the courage, even if I wish I did, so I can't even give you this._

_I'm so sorry._

_Doctor_

Amy had known the Doctor had had lots of companions, but he hadn't talked about what had happened to them. It didn't sound like the Doctor to just dump someone back on Earth – she herself considered him her best friend, and she supposed he must have been just as close with previous companions. It made her wonder what would happen to her and Rory – would the Doctor ever just leave them behind?

"Who's Sarah?" Amy asked, apologetic, but still curious.

"Sarah Jane Smith. Journalist. She used to travel with me in the Tardis, but I had to leave her behind when I got a summons from Gallifrey. Amazing woman – fights aliens from her attic in Ealing now." He grinned impishly, evidently delighted at the very idea.

But Amy could tell he was trying to steer her away from the part of the story that he wanted to forget – he was hopeless at talking about personal things, she had noticed.

"What happened?" she pressed, unperturbed. "When you left her, what happened?"

The Doctor dropped his gaze.

"I couldn't ignore the summons, and I couldn't take her with me, so I took her back home. I didn't see her again until – well, she was over thirty years older, and I had regenerated 6 times. It was a complete coincidence, and I was so amazed to see her again. I wrote her a letter, only I never sent it to her. It was after that that she started fighting aliens, and I've seen her three more times since.

"But you could never tell her this," Amy guessed, referring to the letter in her hand.

The Doctor smiled sadly for a second, before leaping up, declaring, "you know what, I'm dying for some jammy dodgers, does anyone else want some?"

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><p>So what do people think? Also more ideas for future chapters would be very welcome.<p>

Incidently, I wrote this before I watched The God Complex, so now it seems even more sad and slightly ironic, because The Doctor does leave Amy and Rory behind!


	3. Hello Dad

The Doctor never actually said they could read through the contents of the box, but somehow it was silently agreed upon, and soon Amy and Rory were both examining them, munching on jammy dodgers, and eventually, even the Doctor joined in too, although he tried to steer away from anything remotely sad, or personal. When Amy unearthed few scribbled lines Adric wrote shortly before his death, the Doctor quickly turned her attention to a photo of him with Elvis Presley.

Then Rory asked, "Doctor, who's this postcard to? It's addressed to _Dad_..."

The Doctor glanced at it.

"Me," he announced, laughing at his friends' astounded expressions.

"You? A Dad?"

"Why not?"

Very much intrigued, Amy peered over Rory's shoulder and they read it together.

_Hello Dad!_

_I suppose this postcard might be a bit of a shock, seeing as you thought I was dead. Well, I did die, but it seems I'm enough of a Timelady to revive myself after all, so I stole a rocket to see all the planets and civilisations you told me were out there for myself._

_Oh Dad, it's all even more amazing than I imagined! There are so many places to see and adventures to be had; the universe is so large that you can go on exploring forever. I got this postcard on New Earth which I visited recently and I had to escape from cybermen in New Turkey. Donna was right – there is an awful lot of running involved!_

_I wish we could have said goodbye, but I want you to know I won't forget what you taught me, about fighting for justice and peace not gain or glory, and the value of human (or otherwise!) life. I'll see you soon, I'm sure._

_Love Jenny_

"I can't really imagine children growing up in the Tardis," remarked Rory.

"Sadly I was robbed of normal parenting that time, like you were with River."

"Wait, there were other times?"

"Oh yeah," the Doctor affirmed. "I came to earth with my daughter Susan a long time ago."

However, he offered nothing more, so Amy moved the conversation back to Jenny.

"Do you think you'll see Jenny again?"

The Doctor smiled. "I hope so," he said. "I hope so..."


	4. Rose Tyler, I love you too

**A/N: Thank you for all the favourites/alerts/reviews. Thank you as well to Yvraine for pointing out I wrote Susan was the Doctor's daughter instead of granddaughter in the previous chapter – I can't believe I didn't notice that typo!**

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><p>"Who's Rose?" Amy asked.<p>

The Doctor and Rory looked at the sheet of paper she was holding. On the paper was a beautiful pencil drawing of a young woman with light shoulder length hair and hoop earings. Underneath were the words, _Rose Tyler, I love you too_.

The Doctor smiled sadly.

"Rose Tyler." He seemed almost to be savouring the name. "She travelled with me a while ago. It wasn't long after I lost Gallifrey, and I was so full of pain and anger and guilt. I think Rose saved me. She helped me see the good in the universe again. She told me she was going to stay with me forever, and I believed her, pretending to myself that it could be true."

He trailed off lost in the past.

"And then it came to an end when she sacrificed herself to save the earth, and she was trapped in a parallel world. I drew that after I said goodbye to her forever, but I didn't have time to tell her I loved her before the worlds closed up."

The Doctor was always acting so young, with his flamboyant movements and mischievous smile, but looking at him now, Amy thought, his eyes seemed to be windows into his soul, showing the world just how old he really was.

"So you never saw her again?" Amy almost didn't want to know the answer. How could it be a happy one?

"I did, as it happens. The walls between the worlds started to fall apart because the Daleks almost succeeded in blowing up the universe, and Rose crossed universes to find me."

A smile played about his lips.

"But my wonderful friend Donna managed to stop them, and the universes began to close up again so Rose had to go back."

"But at least you had time to say goodbye properly?"

"Yes. But I gave her more than that. I gave her the closest thing I could to giving her me. In the middle of the dalek invasion, events led to a biological metacrisis causing a second me to be grown out of a hand."

"Wait – what?" Rory interrupted him, and shared an utterly bewildered look with Amy.

"I lost my hand in a swordfight but because I had just regenerated I grew another one. Then Donna touched it stimulating a biological metacrisis, meaning a second doctor grew out of it – an exact replica of me – the same personality, feelings and memories, a bit like a ganger – only human, because Donna was human."

"And you let him stay with Rose, while you lost her forever?"

"She deserved to have the man she loved who would live a normal life, who would age as she did. A man who would be able to spend the rest of his life with her."

Amy tried to imagine letting Rory walk away with a double of herself. Even the idea sickened her. She found his hand and held it tight to reassure herself. But that was the Doctor, Amy thought: always sacrificing himself for others. He gave so much for others – including his heart – and in return everything was taken away.

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><p><strong>AN: so there's a lot of retelling in this one, and maybe it's not that interesting to read... I don't know. Still, I think it's important for the Doctor to explain properly about Rose because she's so important to him... so I suppose I wrote this chapter more for myself than anyone else. Anyway, enjoy!**


	5. Dearest Ponds

When the Doctor got up to get them some tea, something occurred to Amy, and she sent Rory with him. Smiling at the retreating figures of her two favourite people, she pulled out a tardis blue envelope from her skirt pocket and unfolded the letter inside.

_Dearest Ponds,_

_I promise you that I'm searching for Melody. I promise that I'll find her._

_We know that she ended up in America 1969, and we saw her, so we have to let that happen. But once our earlier selves have left, she's free to be rescued. The problem is that she disappeared without a trace: I've been searching for months, and every clue has led me to a dead end._

_I'm sorry I have been ignoring you're attempts to contact me, but hearing your voice Amy would make me guiltier than I can cope with. Travelling with me messes people up. I know that. It happens over and over, but I still invite people in, because I can't face being alone. And because seeing the universe through their eyes stops me losing the wonder and joy of it. I never learn. _

_Already I had messed you up so much. I left you waiting for twelve years, Amy – for your imaginary friend. I let Prisoner Zero hide in your house all that time. Travelling with me cost you your life, Rory, and cost you your fiancé Amy. I failed to preserve your memories of Rory and you forgot him, unaware of your grief until my enemies got you caught up in their trap for me, and made Rory a Roman. Then you nearly died, Amy, and Rory had to spend 2000 years protecting you. I genuinely thought I couldn't mess you up any more. But your losing Melody was my fault too: it was to bring about my downfall that they kidnapped Amy and stole your baby, and for that I can never apologise enough to you. I can only promise that I will find her._

_Your daughter is a beautiful baby, she is so brave and strong that she climbed out of a space suit and escaped the silents themselves. I can honestly say that nothing in the world will stop me trying to find her. You don't need to worry about her, because even if it takes time, we know she will be fine because she will become the feisty, dangerous, amazing woman that is River Song. So I will find her for you – I promise you, on fish fingers and custard._

_Love a certain madman with a blue box_

She underlined the final line with her thumb in affection before carefully sliding the letter into the middle of the pile.

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><p>please reviewwwww! x<p> 


	6. Flying buses

"Oh look at this!" The Doctor held out a newspaper cutting. "It's in Italian but the Tardis translated it, of course."

Rory read it aloud:

SEVEN CLAIMS OF HAVING SIGHTED A FLYING BUS 27th July 2009

Yesterday, 26th July 2009, at noon, seven Venetian citizens phoned the police with separate claims of having sighted a flying bus. Investigation implied none of the 'witnesses' were acquainted, and when questioned separately, all accounts agreed that the alleged red London bus circled St Mark's square twice before heading towards the sea. "From peripheral vision I assumed it was a plane, or a helicopter perhaps, but the colour caught my attention, and when I looked at it directly I could clearly see it was a flying bus. I could hardly believe my eyes," says Ariana Trego, aged 34. The mayor was also a witness, but was unavailable for comment. Investigation has not lead to any proof of these outlandish claims, but it has been discovered that a battered bus, identical to the description given, was parked next to the river yesterday afternoon. A young woman with dark hair was witnessed leaving the vehicle. Both have now disappeared without trace. A thorough medical analysis on the witnesses shall soon be performed, and a search for the claimed extraordinary bus driver is underway.

"Let me guess – a she's a friend of yours?" surmised Rory.

"Of course!"

"And the flying bus, I don't suppose that was anything to do with you?"

"Oh no, not at all. I'm a madman with a box, Christina is a lady who ran off with a flying bus."

"Couldn't possibly have been anything to do with you," Amy agreed.

They laughed.

"It's like Mels," Amy said. "She stole a bus once, just so she didn't have to walk home. That bus didn't fly though, as far as I'm aware..."

The Doctor shook his head with a playful smile. "You never know, flying buses are much more common than you think."


	7. Birthday Wishes

**A/N Thank you so much to everyone for all the favouriting, alerts and reviews, it's great to know what people think. Ideas for future chapters are very welcome – my fount of inspiration will run dry without suggestions!**

**Here's another chapter that's a bit more silly – to give you a break from all the serious, sad chapters. The Doctor's life isn't all sad, after all. It's also incredibly awesome and, lots of the time, fun. Enjoy, and please, please, please review! (Please.)**

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><p>"Is that a typo?" asked Rory.<p>

"It must be the font," Amy replied. "The one must just look a bit like a four. Isn't that a bit weird even for you, travelling with an old lady?"

The Doctor glanced at the grand card with the royal crest on the front.

_I am pleased to know that you are celebrating your 400th birthday. I send my congratulations and best wishes to you on such a special occasion._

"What makes you think this addressed to an old lady?" (Amy muttered something about the Doctor always travelling with women.) "And no, you read it correctly," the Doctor assured them. "When I worked for UNIT I had a permanent-ish address which meant people could send me mail more easily. I think she's given up now though."

"When you say _she _you don't mean..."

The Doctor raised his eyebrows.

"You can't mean..." Amy floundered. "The Queen doesn't know about aliens, does she?"

"Perhaps just as surprising, she has a sense of humour?" interjected Rory, glancing back at the curly number four.

"Course she does," affirmed the Doctor. "Me and her go way back. She's not the only monarch that knows about aliens either – more do than don't, to be honest. Think of Liz X."

"But that was years in the future. Surely monarchs from the past didn't know about aliens." Rory chose one at random. "Queen Victoria – I can't imagine her knowing about aliens."

"Oh no she did. We met – just the once – had to fight off a malevolent werewolf from space."

Amy snorted. "I bet she wasn't amused."

The Doctor grinned. "No. She certainly wasn't..."


	8. The Doctor Donna

**A/N: Oopsies I had sort of forgotten about this fic – sorry for neglecting it so long! I wrote this chapter months ago, way before series 7 started, so it's not anything topical: it's about Donna. I wrote a chapter about Rose a while ago so I thought I had to do a Donna one too! It's crazy thinking Amy and Rory are a past era now (noooo!) and I probably will do some sort of tribute for them too, but I have a few more chapters waiting first, so be patient for a little while (I promise it won't be a massive gap this time!) and I hope you enjoy Donna in the meantime. After all, she _is_ awesome.**

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><p>"Doctor," Amy began, "you've mentioned a Donna a few times. Who was she?"<p>

"Yeah, you mentioned she caused a meta...thing... and saved the universe?" added Rory.

The Doctor smiled. "Oh Donna," he sighed. "It can get so complicated in the Tardis, but me and Donna were just... best mates."

"So what was she like?" Amy asked.

"Oh she was great. Her mother, though, is terrifying! She was ginger, like you – I'm hoping that hanging around with gingers might help me get red hair next time I regenerate," he added conspiratorially to Rory. "She started off thinking she was so unimportant – although I didn't realise because she could be so loud and full of life – but travelling with me showed her that she wasn't a nobody, she was brilliant. It..." He fished out a letter. "It made her stronger, happier and better in so many ways," he read.

"What's that?"

"It's a letter from her granddad." He let them read it.

_Doctor,_

_It's been three months since you brought Donna back to us. Mostly she's fine: she's as spunky and wonderful as she ever was. She's got a job as a secretary and the pay's not too bad, and she's got a boyfriend too, called Shaun – he's very sweet, although a bit of a dreamer. She doesn't seem to really realize that she has forgotten whole months of her life. She carries on living a normal life, she still makes me laugh, and she seems happy a lot of the time. But there are other times when she's daydreaming, when she looks so, so sad, without knowing why._

_Sylvia gets worked up about it sometimes, like if someone mentions something that happened in the news while Donna was on the Tardis, but then Donna never used to pay much attention to the news. Christmas was hard this year. Donna never liked Christmas that much but this year we were worried it might bring back memories of giant stars and lethal Christmas trees, but she just decided she must have been very hung over last year. Sometimes I almost forget, and want to ask her about all the amazing places she went to or make her laugh about me seeing you two through my telescope, and I only just stop myself in time. A few weeks ago a friend mentioned the Atmos fiasco, and for the rest of the day Donna moped around the house looking so confused and sad and vulnerable all at the same time that it nearly broke my heart._

_Please, Doctor, you've got to let her remember. It's not fair keeping all those memories from her, of all the incredible things she did. Going off on all those adventures with you changed her. It made her stronger and happier and better in so many ways, and she went from being a temp to someone who saved the world. It's cruel keeping that knowledge from her: she'll never achieve anything because she'll never know that she can. _

_Unless she remembers. She needs you, Doctor, and I think you need her._

_Yours,_

_Wilfred Mott_

"She... she forgot you." Rory said. "How?"

"The metacrisis, it was two-way: she became part human, part timelord. But her brain couldn't cope with all the timelord knowledge and started burning up. The only way to save her was to erase any memory of me and the adventures we had. She saved the entire universe from the Daleks, but she'll never even know.

"So what happened? Did you let her remember?"

"I couldn't. If she ever remembers, if she even sees me again, she'll die. I lost her forever."

"Is she alright?"

She married Shaun, and I sent them a winning lottery ticket, and I think she's happy because I went back once to see how she was doing – without her seeing me, of course. She and Shaun came out of the house laughing, her hands on her huge stomach. She looked extremely content. After all, she doesn't know she's missing anyone."

He tried to smile. "Maybe motherhood will help her grow in similar ways to how she did travelling with me."

Noticing that the Doctor's eyes were glimmering, Amy asked, "Do you want us to stop?" preparing to gather all the sheets of paper together and carefully place them all back in their box.

He shook his head. "No. I should tell people. When I met Sarah Jane for the first time since I'd left her over thirty years before, she found out that I never even mentioned her anymore – not because I'd forgotten her, but because I have to move forward. Keep running. Not let the pain catch up with me. But her reaction, her hurt, it made me feel so guilty. All of them deserve to be remembered – especially those that don't remember themselves."

He resolved to help them all be remembered for everything they'd done. He recalled what the Ood had said: _we shall sing of the Doctor-Donna forever. _So would he.

Amy nodded, understanding. As she always did.

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><p><strong>Writing for Amy and Rory is so bitter sweet now. I loved their final episode though: it was a great story and such a beautiful end. Just thinking about the scene on the roof still makes me well up. What did other people think?<br>Please Reviewwwww!**


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